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Fox News Humiliates “Flakey” Michelle Bachmann
Is she crazy?
Yes.
Is she really running for president?
No, not really. She’s just raising her profile.
Is she a flake? “We report, you decide.”
Michelle Bachman is apparently not on the Fox News Christmas list.
Go Chris Wallace go!
Miss USA Geniuses On Evolution in Schools
Miss USA contestants discuss their views on the teaching of evolution theory in schools (ie: Southerners are still dumb).
Obama Impersonator Roasts GOP on Bill Maher
Obama impersonator Reggie Brown, who was yanked off stage at the Republican Leadership Conference for joking about Republicans, was invited to finish his act on Real Time with Bill Maher. And thank god he did.
Here’s a few highlights:
- Michelle Bachman: And you thought black women were scary.
- Mitt Romney: Mitt is what people who hate white people think of white people.
- Chris Christie: He’s got a type A personality and type 2 diabetes.
- Herman Cain: I’m not worried about him at all – he’s one of my undercover ACORN volunteers.
- The Republican Field: You’ve got a crazy woman, a fat blowhard, three interchangeable pencil necks, two mormons, and the black guy from Ghostbusters.
Enjoy.
Romney Rejected: Over a Fifth of Americans Eschew a Mormon President
Perhaps Americans aren’t so crazy after all
According to the National Journal, a new Gallup poll found that “22 percent of Americans would not vote for candidate who was a Mormon.”
What, one might ask, is the issue with the Church of Latter-day Saints? Why all the haters?
Perhaps it has something to do with the notion that Mormons believe that if they’re very, very good, they can become gods themselves and have planets of their own full of little Mormon children.
Or not. It could just be that Mormonism is scary because it is different, and isolationist he’s-not-like-us beliefs swarm like locusts during election season.
Both former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney, and former Utah governor Jon Huntsman are members of the crazy-but-not-super-scary church. Huntsman plans to announce his candidacy tomorrow.
Good news for Smith-lovers, though: NJ also notes that “the year before John F. Kennedy was elected, becoming the nation’s first Catholic president, a quarter of Americans said they would not vote for a Catholic.”
Congresswomen Are ‘Cute’ Continued…
The assault on the attractiveness of congresswomen reaches the White House!
After comedian Chris Rock corrected Joy Behar’s description of congresswomen on “The View”, demoting them from “very attractive” to “cute”, President Obama it seems just couldn’t distance himself from this discussion of national importance.
The president just couldn’t help describing Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Fla.) as “cute“when asked to comment on the new DNC chair.
Is Obama secretly saying that Debbie Schultz isn’t attractive enough to have an affair with?
Of course not, but it’s fun to pretend.
Come on, somebody, wink at Debbie.
Dog-Hater Scorns Tucker Carlson’s Hyperbolic Ethics
I’m not sure who the real idiot is here.
A kid in this video lambasts the true weiner-in-chief Tucker Carlson for seven month-old comments on dog killer Michael Vick. Wackjob.
Kid that needs a hobby
Tucker Carlson’s comments on Michael Vick
Chris Rock: Congresswomen Aren’t Attractive Enough for Affairs
Why don’t more female pols get caught up sex scandals?
While some believe that male politicians will always cheat, comedian Chris Rock, speaking on “The View”, gives his insight on why there aren’t more female political sex scandals.
Joy Behar: “there aren’t as many women in Congress…”
Chris Rock: “I guess not…people have to want to sleep with you in order for you to actually have an affair…”
Joy Behar: “A lot of women in Congress are beautiful”
Chris Rock: “No, they’re cute.”
Ouch!
John Edwards’ Happy Mugshot Revealed
Pleading not guilty to conspiracy and campaign law violations, former U.S. Senator John Edwards displayed his pearly whites for his mug shot, a ceremonial political requirement of all U.S. pols.
CNN obtained it through a FOIA request.
I’m guessing he was not allowed to smile for the profile picture as it could distort his fine-chiseled silhouette.
The Edwards’ photo reminds me of another smiling alleged criminal, Republican Tom Delay.
House Majority Leader for two years, he resigned due to criminal money laundering charges in connection with a campaign finance investigation. He was convicted of money laundering in January, sentenced to three years, and is currently on bail while appealing his conviction.
Keep smiling, fellas!
Bill Maher on Weiner’s Resignation
Bill Maher discusses Weinergate with non-gay Anderson Cooper about the benefits of an Anthony Weiner resignation.
Newt Gingrich Denies Haunting Topless Photo Is Him
Always classy TMZ released a disturbing photo of Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich during his recent Greek vacation.
The problem is Josh Kraushaar, editor of the National Journal Hotline, was told by Gingrich that the photo is not of him. I don’t blame him. Who would want to take credit for that sun-shiny belly? ”Just asked Newt…the picture on TMZ is not him…remarkable resemblance though” Kraushaar wrote.
If it is not grumpy dwarf Gingrich, then who is this mystery man relaxing beneath the Mykonos sun? It matters not. For Polderdash purposes, it’s flat out Gingrich, and that’s a Gingrich belly glaring starkly in the sun.
And since all these trivial nonsensical bits of datum fill the American electorate with notions of who these pols are, here’s a potential presidential comparison to fester:
Jon Stewart’s Interpretation of the 6/13/11 Seven Dwarves Debate
Starting with the “comparing of the Christmas cards”, Michelle Bachmann is announced as the clear winner.
Best part, “I’m sorry congressman Paul, the correct answer is yes. Yes. Five year olds get emergency medical treatment. Yes.”
Rick Santorum Seduces Young Republican Lips
Somebody didn’t get the memo.
Rick, it’s the Democrats turn for perverted stuff, the Republicans had their fair share last go round.
Really though, if any of the current Republican presidential candidates looks like they need to get laid, it would be Rick Santorum. So stiff, so awkward.
We’re on your side with this one, Rick. Yes your ideas are bat shit crazy, but we support your desire for young Republican head. Cause baby, someone needs to relax.
Seriously though, if you decide to smooch seven times in a row for enjoyment instead of baby making, this political loosey-gooseiness can happen to you:
Good luck dude.
Weiner Doll Demand Crashes Site
And I thought the Weinergate scandal had reached its zenith.
The website for custom action figure company HeroBuilders, has gone limp as demands for their ‘Weiner Weiner’ doll stiffened. The ‘standard Weiner’ doll, lacking hyperbolic weiner accentuation, has not been as good a seller.
“The super special one. It’s 99 percent to 1 percent. Why would you order the other one? It doesn’t make any sense” said Emil Vicale, founder of HeroBuilders to Politico.
In other news, Iran is banning men from wearing necklaces. I think reality is somewhere inbetween.
Tea Party Congressman Drowns American Flag
In a silly display of unnecessary and stunt patriotism, Tea Party congressman Allen West had himself photographed with a submerged American flag while scuba diving off the coast of Florida.
Should we balk at his violation of the Flag Code which prohibits the submersion of Old Glory?
Should we feel elated by his unwavering devotion to the American spirit?
Should we roll our eyes at the spectacle conservative American politics has fallen to?
Door #3, please.
For more flag nonsense, check out these five myths about the American flag, and why some think Allen West hates the American flag
Weinergate Reaches Its Zenith
In an interview with NBC, President Obama responded to Weinergate, which, sadly, none of us can stop writing about. Obama said: “If it was me, I would resign.”
The New York Post reaches the high water mark with this headline.
Seriously, try to beat it 
