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Western Republican Presidential Debate-Firsts

Posted by editor on Oct 19, 2011 in Debates | 0 comments

Pow!

Zap!

Boom!

Whap!

Republicans slap fest! Let the first enjoyable GOP debate begin!

First to ask if his microphone was on: Anderson Cooper just
prior to the debate
First on stage: Bachmann
First to dress like a sailor: Bachmann

First purple tie: Cooper
First candidate purple tie: Gingrich
First thumbs up: Perry
First candidate to shake everyone’s hand: Perry
First candidate to clap for Ron Paul: Romney
First to shake his hand: Cain
First to introduce himself: Santorum
First to tell his daughter that he loves her: Santorum
First to wear a suit coat too big for him: Paul
First to say ‘business’ twice in his introduction: Cain
First to say ‘fun’ twice in his introduction: Romney
First to attack Romney: Perry in his introduction

First to have hair that matches her jacket buttons: Bachmann
First to display shallow wit by playing off the cheesy ‘happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ line: Bachman
First to suggest a liberal president would raise taxes to 90%: Bachmann
First to wear a yellow tie at each debate: Cain
First to wear a blue tie at each debate: Romney
First to say that government encourages people to have children: Santorum
First to raise her hand to ask to be called upon: Bachmann
First to say “Herman I love you brother”: Perry
First to talk about fruit: Cain

First to say that apples and oranges don’t mix: Cain
First to say that loafs of bread have invisible taxes: Cain
First to say he likes that some people don’t pay taxes: Paul
First debate where every candidate appears to have received a recent haircut except Gingrich: This one
First to call state sales tax an apple: Cain
First to ask another candidate a question: Romney to Cain
First to say Cain’s plan is a bussel basket: Romney
First debate where Perry appears lean: This one
First to exhume Ronald Reagan: Bachmann

First to promote her website: Bachmann
First to ramble aimlessly in sentence fragments: Perry
First to say that Perry is absolutely right: Romney
First to say ‘income mobility’ is a new term: Santorum
First blue shirt: Santorum
First to say Romney has no credibility on repealing Obamacare: Santorum
First to say he doesn’t know how many debates they’ve had: Romney
First argument: Santorum vs. Romney
First to compare Romney to Obama: Santorum
First to sniff: Paul
First to mention that Ron Paul is a doctor: Romney
First to say the word ‘lavish’: Gingrich
First to say that what Romney says isn’t true: Gingrich
First frumpy face: Paul

First to count on his fingers: Cain
First to touch another candidate: Romney
First to say it’s been a tough couple of debates for Perry: Romney
First to say that Perry has a problem letting other people speak: Romney
First to suggest using Predator Drones on illegal immigrants: Perry
First to mention Iran: Perry
First to say she’ll build a border fence along the entire length of the southern United States: Bachmann
First to say securing the border isn’t that hard: Romney
First to compare Perry to a failed college sports coach: Romney
First to say Romney hit the nail on the head (twice): Perry
First to say the audience agrees with him: Romney
First to say that a border fence isn’t the answer: Paul
First to scratch his right eye: Cain
First to correct Perry’s grammar: Cooper (“Actually that’s a response not an answer”)
First to lick his lips on camera: Perry
First to say rights don’t come in bunches: Paul
First to say he’s not a scientist: Gingrich
First to say he was for TARP before he was against it: Cain
First to say that everyday she’s somewhere in America: Bachmann
First to directly reach for the mom-vote: Bachmann
First to say that ‘Occupy Wall Street’-ers are victims: Paul
First to talk while waving a pen: Paul
First to physically lean right while speaking: Romney

First to say President Obama does not have a jobs plan, even though congressional Republicans blocked a vote on the president’s jobs plan last week : Romney
First to take a drink of water: Gingrich
First to talk about religious salvation: Santorum
First to bring up the Northwest ordinance of 1787: Gingrich
First to say the president of Iran is a genocidal maniac: Bachmann
First to address the moderator by his first name: Bachmann
First to talk about shooting ourselves in the head and cutting off our arms two debates in a row: Gingrich
First to say ‘I’m a hawk but a cheap hawk’: Gingrich
First to say U.S. government supports German’s socialist system: Paul

First to say cutting the defense budget is a wise thing to do: Paul
First to say America is an empire: Paul
First to say he would not negotiate with terrorists but would have to evaluate individual situations where he might negotiate with terrorists: Cain
First to make hand quote gestures: Santorum
First to mention suicide: Gingrich
First to say we have enough weapons to blow up the world twenty times: Paul
First to suggest defunding the United Nations: Perry

First candidate to defend foreign aid: Romney
First to laugh when he misspeaks: Romney (and only Romney)
First to say he’d cut aid to Israel: Paul
First to say that Cain is naive: Bachmann
First to mention that Ronald Reagan negotiated for hostages: Paul
First to uselessly argue with Paul: Santorum
First to pick his pen up off the floor: Perry
First person to think with his finger on his nose: This audience guy

First to say ‘I should be president’: Cain
First to say he’s cleaned a parking lot: Cain
First to count on his fingers starting with his pinky: Romney
First to say ‘the cake is baked’: Bachmann
First to mention pastels: Bachmann
First to say he wants to debate Obama for three straight hours without a moderator: Gingrich

End debate.

Boys will be boys

Bloomberg-Washington Post Republican Debate Firsts!

Posted by editor on Oct 12, 2011 in Debates | 0 comments

Can Perry strike back?
Can Romney hold his lead?
Can Cain overcome?
Does Santorum really think he’ll be taken seriously?
Does Bachmann know about her Backmann-eyes app?

Let’s find out in the Washington Post-Bloomberg GOP Primary Debate!

Dartmouth-Washington Post-Bloomberg GOP debate firsts

First to appear to fall asleep at the table: Paul
First to suggest Barney Frank and Chris Dodd should go to jail: Gingrich
First to say he’s been phoning the Federal Reserve for 50 years: Paul
First attractive moderator, like, ever: Julianna Goldman

First to dress like an angel: Bachmann

First to say he doesn’t want to brag: Santorum
First to defend Governor Palin (for reasons beyond comprehension): Gingrich
First to say that President Obama mumbles: Gingrich

First to suggest that backgrounds checks are invasive to those considering government service: Huntsman
First to suggest that Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 plan sounds like the price of a pizza: Huntsman

First to say the 9-9-9 plan is not the price of a pizza: Cain
First to say the 9-9-9 plan does not come off a box of pizza: Cain
First to say he’s not omniscience: Romney
First moderator to look like Gollum: Charlie Rose

-break-

First to talk about Ronald Reagan’s diary: Perry
First to say it’s a terrible idea to cut the bloated defense budget: Romney
First to call Washington D.C. a wilderness: Bachmann
First to claim that young Americans will be paying a 75% tax rate: Bachman

First to say “the problem with that analysis is that it is incorrect”: Cain
First to say he doesn’t buy beer: Cain

First to bring up the Spanish-American war: Bachmann
First to bring up the devil: Bachmann
First to say he doesn’t subscribe to the Donald Trump or Mitt Romney school of economic trade: Huntsman
First to talk about fiddles: Romney
First to wipe his nose: Paul
First to say we don’t need any plan to pass congress to get American working again: Perry
First to say he wants to go to war with China: Santorum
First to ask the audience to raise their hands: Santorum
First to say “I’m not done yet”: Santorum
First to complain that he has only answered one question: Santorum

-break-

First to say he grew up a Democrat: Perry
First to say “heck”: Romney
First to forget to change his tie from the last debate: Cain
First to suggest that Mitt Romney knows his own economic advisor well: Perry
First to be called on and say it wasn’t his turn: Santorum
First (and only) candidate to ask Michelle Bachmann a question: Romney
First to promote her website: Bachmann

-break-

First to lick his lips after answering a question: Perry
First to shake his head at Herman Cain: Paul (as Cain was praising Alan Greenspan)
First to say she was distracted and didn’t hear the question: Bachmann
First to call his family “army-brat”: Gingrich
First to be glad none of these candidates are president: myself

NRA: ‘Massive Obama Conspiracy’ Since Obama Hasn’t Banned Guns

Posted by editor on Sep 24, 2011 in Bullseye | 0 comments

The National Rifle Association has once again demonstrated the intellectual heft of its leadership.

Addressing CPAC in the swing state of Flordia, the executive vice president Wayne LaPiere called the president’s decision not to ban firearms “a massive conspiracy,” and evidence as to why Obama should be a one-term president.

“The president will offer the Second Amendment lip service and hit the campaign trail saying he’s actually been good for the Second Amendment,” said LaPiere. “But it’s a big fat stinking lie! It’s all part of a massive Obama conspiracy to deceive voters and destroy the Second Amendment in our country.”

Rick Santorum Will Pee In A Cup To Prove He’s a Contender

Posted by editor on Sep 24, 2011 in Urine | 0 comments

The craziest of the nine Republican Ring Wraiths isn’t even considering dropping out. No way, no how. According to Politico, Rick Santorum wants to prove to you he’s not an also-ran:

“Santorum has been getting some attention for his debate performances and has a fourth place finish in Ames to brag about. He insisted to POLITICO this week that his confidence about actually winning the race wasn’t delusion — “I’ll do a blood test and pee in a cup,” he said — and according to a longtime close adviser and friend, has never discussed a campaign end-game.”

Someone, anyone, somehow P L E A S E take Rickie up on this and get him to pee in a cup to prove he really wants to be president. Just once. I won’t ask again. Thanks.

Bristol Palin Vs. Mechanical Bull

Posted by editor on Sep 23, 2011 in Rube | 0 comments

I really don’t know what to say…

The “Nine” Debate-Firsts

Posted by editor on Sep 23, 2011 in Debates | 0 comments

And then there were nine.

Gary Johnson joins the brood for more ridiculous debate-firsts!

Let the live-blogging begin.

Full debate

Debate mockery

9/22/11 Republican Primary Debate Firsts

First on the screen: Moderator Brett Baier
First website mentioned: Google
Second website mentioned: YouTube
First candidate introduced: Perry
First thumbs up: Perry
First leaning candidate: Gingrich
First yellow tie: Paul
First real smile: Santorum
First question: How can you help small businesses hire?

First candidate called on: Perry
First stutter: Perry
First “uh…”: Perry
First number spoken: 59
First failed microphone: Romney’s
First to mention president Obama: Romney
First thrown elbow: Romney stating he’s had a job (implying Perry has not)
First to call China “cheaters”: Romney
First to avoid answering a question: Romney on “What does rich mean to you?”

First to say that you should get to keep every dollar you earn: Bachmann
First to say that government isn’t a genius: Bachmann
First hesitant audience response for: Bachmann
First to say his wife is the greatest human being: Huntsman
First to say that renewable resources makes sense…later on: Huntsman
First moustache: Cain
First candidate to only gesture with one hand during an answer: Romney
First hat: This guy

First candidate not to use all of his answer time limit: Paul
First to claim he has vetoed more bills than all of the other governors combined: Johnson
First bald politician: Rick Scott, Florida Governor
First to call another candidate wrong: Perry of Romney
First to call Perry double-faced: Romney
First to mention socialism: Kelly, moderator
First to sound presidential: Romney
First to count on his fingers: Romney
First to joke about not using drugs: Romney (“I didn’t inhale”)
First to mention Ronald Reagan: Huntsman

First to say the Environmental Protection Agency has “gone wild”: Cain
First to mention the country of Chile in every debate: Cain
First to rehash his “Contract with America”: Gingrich
First to promise to abolish the Department of Education: Johnson
First to use another candidate’s full name: Santorum on Gary Johnson
First to say “Nice try” to an attack: Romney to Perry
First shakey camera: On Romney
First candidate to mispronounce the word “bus”: Romney
First to use “shockingly” and “chillingly” in the same sentence: Cain
First audience boo: Santorum for babbling about Pakistan
First to admit he supports foreign aid: Gingrich
First to use a “you know”: Johnson
First to butt-in and interrupt the moderators: Bachmann
First candidate to take on…Santorum?!: Huntsman on foreign policy
First to attempt to quote Thomas Jefferson: Bachmann
First homophobe to say “sex is not an issue”: Santorum
First to mention George W. Bush: Kelly (did she really have to?)

First to say he annually calls George W. Bush to wish him a happy birthday: Perry
First to mention his daughter’s disease: Huntsman
First to mention France: Huntsman
First to wear a ribbon: Bachmann
First unintelligible answer: Perry on why Texas is great
First to gesture his right hand as if he was sprinkling fairy dust: Romney
First to use a pen on screen: Perry
First to actually say “we need to reach for the brass ring of liberty”: Bachmann
First to say we’re the only country who place their hands over their hearts during their national anthem: Romney
First to say “bubbles” four times in five seconds: Paul
First to compare President Obama to King George III: Santorum
First to mention his next door neighbor’s two dogs’ poop: Johnson
First place for biggest audience laugh: Johnson
First to suggest combining Gingrich and Cain into a super vice presidental candidate: Perry
First to complement Cain’s necktie selection: Huntsman
First to shake another candidate’s hand: Huntsman
Best part of the debate: Applause for Herman Cain’s triumph over colon cancer

The Ticket?

Putin’s Big Ass Photo For A Wee Little Girl

Posted by editor on Sep 16, 2011 in Too Soon | 0 comments

CNN/TEA Party Debate-Firsts 9-12-11

Posted by editor on Sep 13, 2011 in Debates | 0 comments

Oh no! This is the worst boxing-like intro to a primary debate ever. What the hell, here we go!

CNN/TEA Party Debate Firsts

First candidates’ to appear on the screen: Romney
First odd-purple tie: Blitzer
First white beard: Blitzer
First candidate on stage: Santorum
First thumbs up: Santorum
First candidate to refuse to wave above his shoulders: Gingrich
First handshake: Newt to Paul
First salute: Perry
First “fellas” as a greeting: Perry
First “Hi.”: Romney
First giggle: Bachmann
First song: National Anthem

First to say he was thrilled to be there: Blitzer
First to introduce himself: Huntsman
First stutter: Bachmann
First red Christmas-too-early polka dot tie: Romney
First candidate not to have a tightened tie: Perry
First debate disaster tie: Paul
First to mention the date: Gingrich

First question ask to: Bachmann
First to say “It’s time to get back to the Constitution”: Perry
First to interrupt another candidate: Romney to Perry
First to say Romney is scaring senior citizens: Perry
First to mention Nirvana lead singer Kurt Coban: Huntsman
First to say President Obama scares citizens every single day: Gingrich
First to promote a website: Gingrich www.strongamericanow.com
First to be snarky: Perry to Blitzer “That’s what I said when I started the conversation”
First to suggest ending foreign wars: Paul
First to say “jobs, jobs, jobs”: Blitzer
First to say herion-like addiction to oil: Huntsman
First to mention rocketships: Perry
First place one-liner: “People are tired of spending money we don’t have on programs we don’t want” -Perry
First to mention smartphones and quarters: Romney
First to say the debt, taxes, and spending in Texas has gone up in Texas: Paul
First to mention the Vatican: Paul
First to mention President Clinton: Blitzer
First to mention his mother: Cain
First to mention magic: Huntsman
First to wipe her nose: This lady in the audience

First to want the Federal Reserve to “squeak”: Backmann
First big hit on Perry: Mandated STD vaccinations for young girls
First to mention restaurants: Bachmann (kidding! Cain)
First time Romney has had a hair out of place: This debate!
First to talk with a pen in his hand: Perry
First yelp: Audience cheering for a man to die
First fist: Santorum

First to say cowtow: Paul (someone always does it)
First candidate to consistenly look at the speaker in every GOP debate: Romney
First to sound like a broken record: Bachmann
First to compare the Affordable Health Care Act to a tree: BachmannFirst to say “yes sir” to Blitzer: Perry
First to say “yes sir” to Blitzer: Perry
First to say “Texas Ranger Recon”: Perry
First to bring up English as the official language: Santorum (whew, that took a while)
First to mention salads: Santorum

First to suggest Perry made a treasonous comment: Huntsman
First to say this is the party that believes in enforcing the law: Romney (wow)
First to put his left hand in his pocket: Romney
First to say he has a guiding principle: Cain
First to compare the EPA to ‘Girls Gone Wild’: Cain
First to mention we have 900 military bases around the world: Paul
First to mention another candidate’s blog: Santorum to Paul
First to say Paul is parodying Osama bin Laden: Santorum
First to be booed so bad he had to explain to the audience what he is talking about: Paul

First to address an audience member by name: Huntsman to Sahar
First to mention Ronald Reagan: Audience member Sahar
First to say he agrees with Huntsman: Perry
First to say “Is it best to spend 100,000 military there”: Perry.. whatever that means
First to say he’d bring a bushel basket of common sense to the White House: Paul
First to quote Winston Churchhill: Romney
First to say he’d bring a sense of humor to the White House because America is too uptight: Cain
First to say he’d bring a motorcycle to the White House: Huntsman
First to whisper to another candidate after the debate: Paul to Huntsman
First to receive a kiss after the debate: Bachmann
First to say he hopes to get together soon with Perry: Blitzer
First to pat Perry on the arm and say he did a good job: Blitzer
First to announce Blitzer is in love with Perry: Me

End debate.

Video to be posted when available.

GOP Reagan Library Primary Debate-Firsts 9-7-11

Posted by editor on Sep 7, 2011 in Debates | 3 comments

Another set of presidential debate-firsts for your approval.

The Republican field has grown by one, a lone-star big one, Texas Governor Rick Perry. All eyes will be on Perry and Romney tonight, to see if the former front runner can retake his lead.

Feel free to comment with your own debate-firsts below.

Full debate here.

Here we go!

Republican Primary Debate-Firsts, 9/7/11, otherwise known as the Romney, Perry & Huntsman show

First image: Air Force One
First on stage: None! All candidates already on stage (way to go Politico)
First topic: You guessed it, jobs
First candidate to receive a question: Perry
First candidate to lick his lips: Perry
First yawn: Blond lady in the audience

First candidate to call government work ‘a fine profession’: Romney
First candidate to make awkward pauses when talking: Perry
First candidate to reference Al Gore: Romney
First candidate to reach way back and reference Dukakis: Perry
First pink tie: Santorum
First to say ‘if 10 is good enough for God, 9 is good enough for America’: Cain
First to stand at his podium with one foot way in front of the other: Paul

First candidate to rehash his terrible yellow tie: Cain
First candidate to think Cain’s yellow tie is a good idea and copy him: Huntsman
First place for largest flag pin: Bachmann
First Op-Art vertigo-inducing tie: Paul
First to bring up the Devil: Moderator Brian Williams
First to suggest nixing automobile safety regulations: Paul
First to make Rick Perry laugh: Gingrich

First to think a cranberry-colored tie would be helpful to his lagging campaign: Gingrich
First to wear his cranberry-colored tie askew: Gingrich
First to bash Romneycare: Perry
First to speak mostly with the right side of his face: Romney
First to wipe his lips with his thumb: Perry
First to call Romney and Perry ‘great governors’: Huntsman
First to say ‘harmonizing’: Huntsman
First to say ‘I’m frankly not interested in your effort to get Republcans to fight each other’: Gingrich
First to say the word ‘puff’: Gingrich
Oohh.. First to also say ‘monstrosity’: Gingrich

First to say he’s against ‘Hillarycare’, ‘Obamacare’, and ‘Romneycare’: Cain
First to scratch his left temple: Romney
First to talk about himself in the first person: Santorum
First to quote John F. Kennedy: Perry
First GOP debate moderators to sport dual purple ties: These two!

First to say advocates dismissing the minimum wage: Paul
First to complain about not receiving any medical questions: Paul
First candidate to have a cute little wave in his hair: Paul

First to say the Reagan administration was ‘not all that great’: Paul
First to say that Karl (Rove) has been over the top for a long time: Perry
First to misprounce the word ‘language’: Perry
First to say he believes in the ‘Chilean model’: Cain
First to say innoculating young women against HIV is bad medicine: Paul
First to say he wouldn’t, as president, use an executive order to write laws: Paul
First candidate to consistently look at the current speaker: Romney (good job Mitt!)
First to say he feels like a pinata: Perry
First to say he hates cancer: Perry

First to call himself a wide receiver: Santorum
First to say President Obama is a nice guy: Romney
First to remind us that people want to kill us: Gingrich
First to achieve the consistent-buzz-kill award: Gingrich
First to say the TSA agents maul people and are abusive: Paul
First to say 9/11 came about because there was too much government: Paul
First to say we’re spending 20 billion dollars on air conditioning in Afganistan: Paul
First to swat at a bug: Cain
First to say a ‘fortress mentality’ isn’t American: Huntsman (hell yes)

First to repeat the words ‘intellectual discussion’ on numerous occasions to appear intelligent: Perry
First to wipe his nose: Paul
First to count on his fingers: Gingrich

First to say that a barb-wire fence and machine guns isn’t American: Paul
First to wear a watch on his right wrist: Williams
First to thank the audience for applauding him: Huntsman
First place for using the most hand gestures: Huntsman
First to ‘tip his hat’ to President Obama for ordering the assassination of Osama bin Laden: Perry
First to wear a rotating flag pin: Bachmann

First to say that United Nations tells President Obama what to do: Santorum
First candidate to put his left hand in his pocket when being attacked: Santorum
First to suggest the president wants America to be like Spain: Bachmann
First to say he’d fire the Fed Chairman tomorrow: Gingrich
First place for standing completely still: Bachmann
First to mention music: Cain
First to defend his compassion: Paul

Polderdash Analysis: With Governor Rick Perry’s suicidal slam of Social Security, former governors Jon Huntsman and Mitt Romney are the only two credible Republican candidates for president; Huntsman being the only rationale choice -no one sounded more presidential.

Michelle Bachmann’s frozen body and predictable answers did nothing for her 2016 campaign (you read that right); Ron Paul remains an offbeat indie band with a steady, moderate following; Herman Cain’s ‘solutions’ repertoire is singular note in a complex world; Newt Gingrich’s perpetual doom-and-gloom campaign tortures on; and Rick Santorum still subscribes to magical thinking.

The GOP octopus slithers on.

Other reactions:

Taegan Goddard: It’s very clear Mitt Romney has done this before because he looked like a long distance runner compared to the other candidates on the stage. He won the debate, but only because Rick Perry stumbled badly on several questions. In fact, Perry’s doubling-down on his criticisms of social security may ultimately prove to be a fatal flaw as GOP primary voters gauge electability.

Michele Bachmann lost the debate because she did nothing to stop her downward drift in the polls. By next month, her campaign may be an afterthought. Ron Paul has more staying power than her because his libertarian base is unique and unmoving.

Most amazing moment: The audience applauding the record number of executions carried out under Perry’s tenure as governor.

Andrew Sullivan: “My take-away? Perry has proved himself an extreme, inarticulate, incurious W clone. He doubled down on the vicious attacks on social security; and his rhetoric was off-key. Huntsman emerged as an actual candidate; Romney kicked ass. Bachmann is wearing thinner and thinner. Paul is Paul. Santorum is a Vatican crank. Gingrich is an angry old man. Cain has no business being up there. Perry’s poor performance gives Palin an opening.”

Ezra Klein: “Mitt Romney looked like he had already won the Republican nomination. Rick Perry looked like he will win the Republican nomination. Michele Bachmann looked like she was beginning to realize she definitely wouldn’t win the Republican nomination.”

More debate firsts here!

TEA Party Zombies Must Die (The Game)

Posted by editor on Sep 7, 2011 in Zombies | 0 comments

Your wait is over. Just in time for Rick Perry to join the interminable GOP primary debates, Tea Party Zombies The Game has *finally* arrived.

Is it violent? Oh yes.

Is it obtusely unnecessary? Oh hell yes.

Is there a link? Must you ask?

Play the Game

President Pushover?

Posted by editor on Sep 4, 2011 in Denial | 0 comments

Roland Martin nails American sentiment on our president in a new CNN opinion piece. In summary: President Obama is a pushover.

“Americans respond to decisiveness” pens Martin, “They respond to a leader who makes clear what he wants and will use the power of the presidency to lead his troops up the hill to take on those who oppose him.”

When can you remember Obama doing this?

Here’s another taste:

“After Obama buckled to Speaker John Boehner by postponing the speech to Thursday, a hardcore Democrat, who hates anything the GOP does and has never voted for a Republican for president, texted me the following: ‘Does the POTUS need back surgery? I think he does. He needs a spine transplant.’ ”

The list goes painfully on and on. Who would of thought the unstoppable candidate Obama of 2008 would be deemed categorically weak in 2011? Sadly, the president seems to believe being president is enough to make people treat you like a president.

Sorry Barry, but the presidency is what you make it. Stop being afraid of getting dirty in the eyes of posterity. All of us who voted for you are over the historical nature of your ascension. You need to be too. Every sidestep and retreat is another line on your presidential obituary. People won’t remember you as high-minded if you also appear spine-weak. Think Jimmy Carter.

President Obama needs to decide if he actually wants to be the president, or appear presidential. You can’t do both.

Read Roland Martin’s piece here.

Bill Clinton: I’m Vegan, Baby!

Posted by editor on Aug 18, 2011 in Yum | 0 comments

It’s official, he’s a veggie! From CNN:

By the time he reached the White House, Bill Clinton’s appetite was legend. He loved hamburgers, steaks, chicken enchiladas, barbecue and french fries but wasn’t too picky. At one campaign stop in New Hampshire, he reportedly bought a dozen doughnuts and was working his way through the box until an aide stopped him.

Former President Clinton now considers himself a vegan. He’s dropped more than 20 pounds, and he says he’s healthier than ever. His dramatic dietary transformation took almost two decades and came about only after a pair of heart procedures and some advice from a trusted doctor.

His dietary saga began in 1993, when first lady Hillary Clinton decided to inaugurate a new, healthier diet for her husband. In a meeting, she asked Dr. Dean Ornish to work with the White House chefs, who were accustomed to high fat, French cuisine.

“The president did like unhealthy foods, and we were able to put soy burgers in White House, for example, and get foods that were delicious and nutritious,” said Ornish, director and president of the Preventive Medicine Research Institute in Sausalito, California. Other new menu items included such healthy fare as stir fry vegetables with tofu, and salmon with vegetables.

Continue reading at CNN

Vanilla Ice Impressed by Herman Cain

Posted by editor on Aug 12, 2011 in Game Changer | 0 comments

Quite possibly the most mocked rapper in the history of music has made his small voice loud and clear: Herman Cain is impressive.

While Democrats and Liberals might brush off this fallen rapper’s remarks as balderdash, many in the Republican ranks are breathing a collective sigh of relief.

“We’ve been trying to get more gangster”, said an imaginary GOP spokesperson, “We hired Michael Steele to show we’re not racist and the TEA party has embraced the concept of ‘old school’ with a patriotic flair. The tricorn hats were my idea. I think it’s safe to say that everyone in our party has been waiting for Vanilla Ice to weigh in. He is our direct tap into the zeitgeist of young America, and we value his input.”

No comment yet from the Cain campaign.

Herman Cain’s anticipated expression upon hearing the good news

Iowa GOP Debate Firsts + Full Debate 8/11/11

Posted by editor on Aug 12, 2011 in Debates | 0 comments

Another intriguing gaze into delusional intramural Republican politics: The 2011 Iowa Republican Debate!

Candidates Rep. Michele Bachmann, Rep. Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Herman Cain, Rick Santorum, Tim Pawlenty, Jon Huntsman, and Newt Gingrich are here once again to share their crazy ideas.

The full debate is at the bottom. First, the debate-firsts!

August 8th, 2011 Republican Debate Firsts

First on screen: Brett Baier
First candidate to be introduced: Santorum
First host to show teeth when smiling:
First question goes to: Bachmann
First to mispronounce a word: Bachmann
First to hold up one finger: Bachmann
First to mention the president: Bachmann
First to mispronounce a word after Bachmann: Romney
First to point to himself with both hands: Romney
First to make a mind-numbing list: Romney
First to mention a date twice in one answer: Romney (June 30^th)
First to say the bell is not a doorbell: Baier
First to say he’s not going to eat President Obama’s dogfood: Romney
First to use obvious talking points after Baier asked the canidates not to: Paul
First candidate to be laughed at while answering a question: Paul
First to blink consistently through his first answer: Cain
First to say “number one”: Huntsman
First to repeat himself: Huntsman
First to mention Ronald Reagan: Gingrich
First to say “growth” times during his first answer: Pawlenty
First to offer a prize of a homecooked dinner or a mowed lawn for looking up things on the internet: Pawlenty
First to be rude to another candidate: Pawlenty (mocking Romney’s gigantic home)
First question to receive an “ooow” from the audience: Is Michelle Bachmann unqualified or just beating you in the polls?
First to directly address another candidate, comparing him to the president: Bachmann to Pawlenty
First candidate to title herself as a fighter: Bachmann
First to tout her “Lightbulb Freedom of Choice bill” as a reason she should be president: Bachmann
First tie clip/microphone combination: Chris Wallace

First to call out Chris Wallace for ‘gotcha questions’: Gingrich
First to lean on his left elbow while answering a question: Gingrich
First to sport an askew blue tie: Huntsman
First to have forehead wrinkles that match his hair: Huntsman
Ugly tie award: Herman Cain (yellow, really)
First to seriously wear a moustache during a presidential debate: Cain
First to hold up three fingers: Cain
First to say the issue of immigration has zero intellectual credibility until the border fence is completed: Huntsman
First to copy Huntsman’s askew blue tie: Romney
First to mention alligators: Susan Ferrechio
First to say “American has got to learn how to take a joke”: Cain
First to hold up four fingers: Cain
First to copy Gingrich’s left leaning elbow answering stance: Cain
First to twist and fidget his pencil: Gingrich
First to directly answer all the questions asked to him: Paul

First to weakly, vaguely say “one way I would suggest we could do it”: Paul
First to wear a suit jacket that was way to big for him: Pawlenty
First to be proud of achieving a state government shutdown: Pawlenty
First to be silly enough to mention raising taxes in his state: Pawlenty
First to wear the lightest gray suit: Bachmann
First to say the cheesy memorized line“You can get money wrong, but you can’t get life wrong”: Bachmann
First to speak unnaturally slowly: Bachmann
First to say Bachmann’s answer is illogical: Pawlenty
First to raise his hand and whine about not being able to answer any questions: Santorum
First to give himself a thumbs up: Santorum
First to wear a Santa Claus tie: Santorum
First and only candidate to raise his hand below his head: Paul
First to say the Super Congress a dumb idea: Gingrich
First to say the Super Congress is going to say “We can shoot you in the head or cut off your leg”: Gingrich
First to appear highly uncomfortable criticizing Romney: Pawlenty
First candidate to use her fused spine to stand perfectly erect the entire debate: Bachmann
First to be called a Constitutional expert by Chris Wallace: Paul
First to fidget with both index fingers while answering a question: Paul
First to say our country is based on moral laws: Santorum
First to say the questions being asked the candidates are the worst ever: John LeBoutillier (if you watched the online break Fox commentary)
First to be absent from the stage when the debate continued after a commercial break: Bachmann
First to say Rick Perry would dilute all the other candidate’s votes: Paul
First to mock Perry’s prayer meeting: Huntsman
First to fix his askew blue tie: Huntsman

First to say she is very good friends with Sarah Palin: Bachmann
First to use the idiom “beyond the pale”: Huntsman
First to say the CIA gave him information that Iran doesn’t want to develop a nuclear weapon: Paul
First to raise not one, but TWO hands to complain that he hasn’t been called on: Santorum
First candidate to have his camera position switched to hide the ‘Fox’ logo next to him: Paul
First to say he would give a loyalty test to all government employees: Gingrich (seriously)
First uncomfortable question: “As president, would you be submissive to your husband”: Byron York
First to say that an abortion after being raped is more traumatic than being forced to bear, give birth, and raise your rapist’s child: Santorum
First to say the EPA’s environmental and health protection regulation is ‘terror’: Huntsman
First to say of Paul: “Just because he’s mostly wrong doesn’t mean he’s always wrong”: Santorum (jerk)
First to close his pen while listening to a question: Huntsman
First to say he was the only one who supported the ‘grand bargain’ 4 trillion debt deal: Huntsman
First to say that the national media doesn’t pay attention to his campaign: Santorum
First to quote a poet during his closing statement: Cain (no idea which poet, but it was a bad one)
First to mention peace during his closing statement: Paul
First to imply that President Obama has never had a job: Romney
First not talk at all about herself during her closing statement: Bachmann
First to say our nation is hurting, scared, and backrupt: Huntman (way to go, optimist)
First and only candidate to thank the debate hosts: Gingrich

Next debate is September 22nd. (I think) See you then for more debate firsts.

Michelle Bachmann Says She Has ‘Serial Killer Spirit’

Posted by editor on Jun 27, 2011 in Clueless | 1 comment

I’ve heard candidates say they have ‘fighting spirit’, are ‘made out of red meat’, and are even ‘children of God’, but never, never has a presidential candidate compared their inner spirit with that of a serial killer.

Michelle Bachman: “Well, what I want them to know is just like John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That’s the kind of spirit that I have, too.”

John Wayne with Waterloo roots is John Wayne Gacy, a serial killer who was executed in 1994 after being convicted of 33 murders.

Perhaps, oh just perhaps, Bachmann meant the iconic cowboy John Wayne, the movie star, who was born in Winterset, Iowa (with zero connection to Waterloo).

But if we are to take the TEA Party favorite at her word, then I agree, she and John Wayne Gracy both deserve the title of “Killer Clown”.