Harry Reid Injured By Stationary Car?!
Oh Harry, don’t ruin your magical aura.
While we love your policies, we’ve always been somewhat surprised you were able to crawl your way through the ranks to Senate Majority Leader.
Your fragile, weak-looking exterior has always been always been a subconscious concern to us, but we felt, somehow, your ascension to leadership demonstrated an iron-core, an unbreakable will that shouldered its way through the chiseled-jaw pols of yesteryear, leaving you as the victorious king-of-the-hill.
What I’m trying to say is: You’re not allowed to almost get killed by a stationary car!
From Wonkette:
Whatever would this country do if Harry Reid was not the Senate majority leader? Replace him with Chuck Schumer or Dick Durbin and promptly forget he existed? Yes, probably. But maybe we would take weeks off to mourn the sudden loss of the greatest American never to walk on the Moon. This morning, Harry Reid was out jogging when suddenly he was hit by a car. Reid was taken to the hospital and he’ll be okay, so the assassination plot failed. But the most devious part of this story is that the car was just sitting there parked. We’re not sure how one is injured by a stationary car, but it sounds absolutely harrowing.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) dislocated his shoulder and suffered a bump to the forehead after slipping Wednesday morning while exercising in the rain. [...]
Reid fell after leaning with his hand on a wet parked car. His hand slipped and the leader tumbled to the ground.
I don’t care what they say about your amateur boxing career, no one believes you did it anyways. But we did find some solace in your juxtaposition with other Republican leaders, such as, say, Mitch McConnell…
Appearing next to the fish-in-headlights-looking McConnell, your tall forehead and wide nose appear strong and experienced. But the car, Harry, you simply can’t be defeated by a stationary vehicle – It unpacks all our subsurface doubts about your strength and ability to lead us.
So keep surrounding yourself with other Democrats, Harry. They’re now like flying buttresses firmly supporting a thin, precarious tower. But you’re still on top, Harry. You’re still on top.
