Debate-Firsts from the Republican Primary Debate, 5/5/11

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You know you’re in trouble when extreme libertarian Rep. Ron Paul sounds the most rationale person on stage.  Thus begins the long, slow slough of embracing the crazy.  First, let’s meet the candidates:

screenshot from foxnews.com

Brett Baier Chris Wallace, Shannon Breen, and Juan Williams moderate the debate.  All right, here we go!

Video of the full debate

5/5/11 Debate Firsts

• First to appear on the screen: Brett Baier, moderator
• First to hold a pen: Bret Baier, moderator
• First orange tie: Pawlenty
• First candidate to be introduced: Ron Paul
• First to receive a question: Pawlenty
• First to praise President Obama: Pawlenty
• First to go over his alloted answer time: Pawlenty
• First to vote against the other candidates: Cain (for saying he would not show bin Laden’s death photo)
• First to make a backhanded complement of Obama: Santorum
• First to disagree with the moderator: Paul
• First to receive an applause from the audience: Paul, for saying he wants to end the Afghanistan war
• First to say the war in Afghanistan mission goals are not clear
• First to receive a complement from the moderator: Cain
• First to say that “tomorrow may involve several months”: Johnson
• First to sway back and forth as he speaks: Johnson
• First to wear an askew tie: Cain
• First to wear a double-breasted suit: Cain
• First candidate to talk without moving his cheeks: Santorum
• Ew… first to wear an ugly tie: Paul
• First to say he’s not anti-Islam: Santorum

• First to mention his religion: Santorum
• First to be asked a question about another candidate: Paul
• First intelligent answer: Paul saying we don’t need secret military prisons
• First to talk about waterboarding: Pawlenty
• First to bring up 9/11 (and support torture): Pawlenty
• First to say another candidate was lying: Paul to Santorum
• First moderator to appear impressed by an answer: Williams after listening to Cain’s ideas on energy security
• First to say he’s a physician: Paul
• First to wear a suit-jacket that’s too big for him: Paul
• First to wear a pocket square unnecessarily: Baier
• First to mention Paul Ryan’s budget: Santorum
• First to speak way too quickly: Santorum
• First to appear in a prerecorded video: Eric Cantor
• First to wear a red pocket square: Chris Wallace, moderator
• First to say we are “addicted to the drug of government”: Santorum
• First to say “we stuck it to ‘em”: Paul
• First to say “meatpacking”: Pawlenty
• First to say a moderator’s experts were “dead wrong”: Cain
• First to touch his chin: Some guy behind the Wallace wearing the same suit as he is
• First to wear a lapel pin of unknown origin: Santorum
• First to make double-fists while talking: Santorum
• First to say “people on the margins of life”: Santorum
• First to say that repealing Obama care is the most important issue in America: Santorum
• First to say if we “follow the constituation we wouldn’t have (these types of) problems: Paul
• First to look desperate while he’s speaking: Paul

• First to part his hair to the right: Wallace
• First to point at his palm: Wallace
• First to say every family deserves a prebate: Cain
• First to complain that he doesn’t get asked enough questions: Johnson
• First say “preposterous assumptions”: Pawlenty
• First to part his hair to the left: Pawlenty
• First to part his hair both ways: Johnson
• First to mention President Bill Clinton
• First to dry swallow: Johnson
• First to say cutting Medicare by 43% helps poor people: Johnson
• First to hold his hand like a boy scout: Cain
• First to say his grandmother does not speak English: Santorum
• First to say his dad wouldn’t teach him Italian: Santorum
• First to say English is “the most powerful language in the world: Santorum
• First to say “Governor Johnson” mockingly: Breen, moderator
• First to cough: Unknown, it was off-camera
• First to twiddle his thumbs: Cain
• First to hold a pen in his right hand: Baier
• First to say Pawlenty’s Libya policy would cause chaos: Williams
• First to call the United Nations “pathetic”: Pawlenty
• First to say we need to go back to “You’re either with us or against us”: Santorum
• First to hold a white pen: Baier
• First to wear the most patriotic tie: Williams
• First to say Israel is too dependant on America: Paul
• First to say “I’m a free market guy” Johnson

• First to show clevage: Karen Floyd, chairman of the S.C. Republican Party
• First to not know how long he’s been married: Paul
• First to say he’s not going to get the Republican pro-life vote: Johnson
• First to say “anyone who thinks we should give up on moral issues doesn’t understand America”: Santorum
• First to point to the ceiling: Santorum
• First former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza: Cain
• First to say Republicans have been successful in elections when appealing to Union voters: Williams
• First to say allowing Intelligent Design is an appropriate approach to education: Pawlenty
• First to say being “pro-egg and anti-chicken doesn’t work: Pawlenty
• First to say “Do we have to? [watch a video he made]: Pawlenty, in a video supporting the environment
• First to say his wife has a calling to be merely a “wife and mother” Santorum
• First question to receive a laugh from the audience: “Why should social conservatives in South Carolina vote for you?” Chris Wallace to Ron Paul
• First to say that herion and prostitute are a sign of liberty: Paul
• First to say “I never thought heroin would get an applause here in South Carolina: Chris Wallace
• First to be asked about his admitted illegal pot intake: Johnson
• First to be called out for saying his previous opponent was ‘pro-choise’ because his opponent believes abortions should be legal for rape and incest
• First to say “people vote from their bellies”: Paul

• First to gloat about his electoral achievements: Santorum
• First to give himself a thumbs up: Santorum
• First to say he doesn’t know why people will vote for Republicans: Johnson
• First to say “I love the Huck” [Mike Huckabee]: Pawlenty
• First to be asked if Michelle Bachman has eclipsed him: Paul
• First to note Michelle Bachman didn’t show up: Paul
• First to be asked what his reality TV show would be: Johnson (his answer “Wow”)
• First to climb Mount Everest: Johnson
• First to say he want to climb the highest peak in every continent: Johnson
• First to say “God is blessing America”: Cain
• First to say I’ve lived the American Dream: Pawlenty
• First to plug his website: Pawlenty
• First to say he’s got arrows in his back: Santorum
• First to be glad it finally ended: All of us

Congratulations, you’ve survived the first Republican Primary debate of 2011.  Let me know what you think, and I’ll have more ‘firsts’ at the debate on August 11th.

Check out the second Republican Debate-Firsts here.