Western Republican Presidential Debate-Firsts

Pow! Zap! Boom! Whap! Republicans slap fest!  Let the first enjoyable GOP debate begin! First to ask if his microphone was on: Anderson Cooper just prior to the debate First on stage: Bachmann First to dress like a sailor: Bachmann First purple tie: Cooper First candidate purple tie: Gingrich First thumbs up: Perry First candidate to shake everyone’s hand: Perry First candidate to clap for Ron Paul: Romney First to shake his hand: Cain First to introduce himself: Santorum First to tell his daughter that he loves her: Santorum First to wear a suit coat too big for him: Paul First to say ‘business’ twice in his...

Bloomberg-Washington Post Republican Debate Firsts!

Can Perry strike back? Can Romney hold his lead? Can Cain overcome? Does Santorum really think he’ll be taken seriously? Does Bachmann know about her Backmann-eyes app? Let’s find out in the Washington Post-Bloomberg GOP Primary Debate! Dartmouth-Washington...

NRA: ‘Massive Obama Conspiracy’ Since Obama Hasn’t Banned Guns

The National Rifle Association has once again demonstrated the intellectual heft of its leadership. Addressing CPAC in the swing state of Flordia, the executive vice president Wayne LaPiere called the president’s decision not to ban firearms “a massive conspiracy,”...

Rick Santorum Will Pee In A Cup To Prove He’s a Contender

The craziest of the nine Republican Ring Wraiths isn’t even considering dropping out.  No way, no how.  According to...

Bristol Palin Vs. Mechanical Bull

I really don’t know what to say…

The “Nine” Debate-Firsts

And then there were nine. Gary Johnson joins the brood for more ridiculous debate-firsts! Let the live-blogging...

CNN/TEA Party Debate-Firsts 9-12-11

Oh no! This is the worst boxing-like intro to a primary debate ever. What the hell, here we go! CNN/TEA Party Debate Firsts First candidates’ to appear on the screen: Romney First odd-purple tie:  Blitzer First white beard: Blitzer First candidate on stage:...

GOP Reagan Library Primary Debate-Firsts 9-7-11

Another set of presidential debate-firsts for your approval. The Republican field has grown by one, a lone-star big one, Texas Governor Rick Perry.  All eyes will be on Perry and Romney tonight, to see if the former front runner can retake his lead. Feel free to comment with your own debate-firsts below. Full debate Andrew Sullivan: “My take-away? Perry has proved himself an extreme, inarticulate, incurious W clone. He doubled down on the vicious attacks on social security; and his rhetoric was off-key. Huntsman emerged as an actual candidate; Romney kicked ass. Bachmann is wearing thinner and thinner. Paul is Paul. Santorum is a...

TEA Party Zombies Must Die (The Game)

Your wait is over.  Just in time for Rick Perry to join the interminable GOP primary debates, Tea Party Zombies The Game has *finally* arrived. Is it violent? Oh yes. Is it obtusely unnecessary? Oh hell yes. Is there a link?  Must you...

President Pushover?

Roland Martin nails American sentiment on our president in a new...

Bill Clinton: I’m Vegan, Baby!

It’s official, he’s a veggie! From CNN: By the time he reached the White House, Bill Clinton’s appetite was legend. He loved hamburgers, steaks, chicken enchiladas, barbecue and french fries but wasn’t too picky. At one campaign stop in New Hampshire, he...

Vanilla Ice Impressed by Herman Cain

Quite possibly the most mocked rapper in the history of music has made his small voice loud and clear: Herman Cain is impressive. While Democrats and Liberals might brush off this fallen rapper’s remarks as balderdash, many in the Republican ranks are breathing a...

Iowa GOP Debate Firsts + Full Debate 8/11/11

Another intriguing gaze into delusional intramural Republican politics: The 2011 Iowa Republican Debate! Candidates Rep. Michele Bachmann, Rep. Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Herman Cain, Rick Santorum, Tim Pawlenty, Jon Huntsman, and Newt Gingrich are here once again to share their crazy ideas. The full debate is at the bottom.  First, the debate-firsts! August 8th, 2011 Republican Debate Firsts First on screen: Brett Baier First candidate to be introduced: Santorum First host to show teeth when smiling: First question goes to: Bachmann First to mispronounce a word: Bachmann First to hold up one finger: Bachmann First to mention the president:...

Michelle Bachmann Says She Has ‘Serial Killer Spirit’

I’ve heard candidates say they have ‘fighting spirit’, are ‘made out of red meat’, and are even ‘children of God’, but never, never has a presidential candidate compared their inner spirit with that of a serial killer. Michelle Bachman:...

Fox News Humiliates “Flakey” Michelle Bachmann

Is she crazy? Yes. Is she really running for president? No, not really. She’s just raising her profile. Is she a flake? “We report, you decide.” Michelle Bachman is apparently not on the Fox News Christmas list. Go Chris Wallace...

Miss USA Geniuses On Evolution in Schools

Miss USA contestants discuss their views on the teaching of evolution theory in schools (ie: Southerners are still dumb).

Obama Impersonator Roasts GOP on Bill Maher

Obama impersonator Reggie Brown, who was yanked off stage at the Republican Leadership Conference for joking about Republicans, was invited to finish his act on Real Time with Bill Maher. And thank god he did. Here’s a few highlights: Michelle Bachman: And you thought black women were scary. Mitt Romney: Mitt is what people who hate white people think of white people. Chris Christie: He’s got a type A personality and type 2 diabetes. Herman Cain: I’m not worried about him at all – he’s one of my undercover ACORN volunteers. The Republican Field: You’ve got a crazy woman, a fat blowhard, three...

Romney Rejected: Over a Fifth of Americans Eschew a Mormon President

Perhaps Americans aren’t so crazy after all According to...

Congresswomen Are ‘Cute’ Continued…

The assault on the attractiveness of congresswomen reaches the White House! After comedian Chris Rock corrected Joy Behar’s description of congresswomen on “The View”, demoting them from “very attractive” to “cute”, President Obama it...

Dog-Hater Scorns Tucker Carlson’s Hyperbolic Ethics

I’m not sure who the real idiot is here. A kid in this video lambasts the true weiner-in-chief Tucker Carlson for seven month-old comments on dog killer Michael Vick.  Wackjob. Kid that needs a hobby Tucker Carlson’s comments on Michael...

Chris Rock: Congresswomen Aren’t Attractive Enough for Affairs

Why don’t more female pols get caught up sex scandals? While some believe that...

John Edwards’ Happy Mugshot Revealed

Pleading not guilty to conspiracy and campaign law violations, former U.S. Senator John Edwards displayed his pearly whites for his mug shot, a ceremonial political requirement of all U.S. pols. ...

Bill Maher on Weiner’s Resignation

Bill Maher discusses Weinergate with non-gay Anderson Cooper about the benefits of an Anthony Weiner resignation. UPDATE:...

Newt Gingrich Denies Haunting Topless Photo Is Him

Always classy TMZ released a disturbing photo of Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich during his recent Greek vacation. The problem is Josh Kraushaar, editor of the National Journal Hotline, was told by Gingrich that the photo is not of him.  I don’t blame him.  Who would want to take credit for that sun-shiny belly? ”Just asked Newt…the picture...

Jon Stewart’s Interpretation of the 6/13/11 Seven Dwarves Debate

Starting with the “comparing of the Christmas cards”, Michelle Bachmann is announced as the clear winner. Best part, “I’m sorry congressman Paul, the correct answer is yes. Yes. Five year olds get emergency medical treatment. ...

Rick Santorum Seduces Young Republican Lips

  Somebody didn’t get the memo. Rick, it’s the Democrats turn for perverted stuff, the Republicans had their fair share last go round. Really though, if any of the current Republican presidential candidates looks like they need to get laid, it would be Rick...

Weiner Doll Demand Crashes Site

And I thought the Weinergate scandal had reached its zenith. The Iran is banning men from wearing necklaces.  I think reality is somewhere...

Tea Party Congressman Drowns American Flag

In a silly display of unnecessary and stunt patriotism, Tea Party congressman Allen West had himself photographed with a submerged American flag while scuba diving off the coast of Florida. Should we balk at his violation of the Flag Code which prohibits the submersion of Old...